Disabilities and WoW: Do I tell or not?

This post will be aimed towards disabled gamers in WoW, and the kind of obstacles they face when it comes to applying for spots in raids or guilds.  A bit of background information on myself:  I’m Deaf, and I cannot use VoIP at all when I raid.  I communicate using American Sign Language.

When I first started playing WoW, I was very reluctant to divulge this information and  my then boyfriend, who also played, was the only one who knew.  When I first started raiding on a casual level in pugs, I often declined to join in ventrilo or mumble with excuses that I didn’t have a mic or whatever.  I did the same thing when I tried to apply to guilds because I did not want to be turned down because I couldn’t hear.  I heard a lot of stories of people being griefed about their disabilities, and I did everything I could to avoid having that happen to me.  It is truly a terrible thing to go through and it can really hurt people.  I know, because it hurt me too and it caused me to have serious doubts as a player.

I started to raid on my rogue as a regular raider for a guild run ToC 25 man before ICC came out.  For the first few weeks, I was never in vent and nobody ever asked, I figured I was in the clear for however long the raid would continue.  Until one day, the RL pulled me aside and said, “We need you to be in vent, otherwise I can’t let you raid with us anymore.”  I knew that I was going to have to tell her and risk being kicked out nevertheless, since it was a requirement to have VoIP to raid, period.  I decided to tell her because I wanted to keep raiding.  Fortunately, she accepted that, since I was a regular raider who didn’t cause major issues and told me to keep my situational awareness high to make up for the fact I can’t depend on call outs.

I was never this lucky.  I got kicked out of raids and were declined from guilds who didn’t want to take me on when I tried to be honest.  This made me extremely nervous and averse to being honest about my condition, even though I knew I could raid just as well as anyone else.  I eventually became part of the guild and went on to clear ICC 10 and 25 with them, it worked out for me in the end.  I have long moved on from that guild, and am currently raiding as a resto druid healer for a progression oriented raiding guild.

I was once again at a standstill when I looked at my current guild’s application form and it had asked, “Are you able to use Vent/Mumble?  This is a requirement for raiding.”

I knew I was applying for a guild that raided hardmodes and I had nothing but my reputation to back me up.  At that point, I felt I should be honest with the guild I was applying at, reasoning that it would only be fair to tell them upfront before they accepted me.  I felt it would be bad form on my part to drop this bomb on them later on if I got a spot in their raids and said, “By the way, I can’t use vent.”  It was a very difficult position to be  in, especially talking about something so personal with complete strangers in an application form.   I know I’m not alone in this, with the dilemma of whether I should tell raids or guilds about my disability.   This is what I aim to write about in this post and I hope my experiences will help others that have struggled with this.

You are not alone!

In this kind of situation, it is your choice whether you want to tell people about your condition that could potentially affect your performance as a raider.  If you do, it is generally a good idea to have explanations about how you can get around this.  Provide explanations even if they don’t ask!  I find that it’s because people don’t know what to ask you!

Applying to raids:

#1: Be open and honest!

In my case,  I explained that I could not use vent because I was Deaf.  You can write a little about your condition, and how it can affect how you play the game.  Don’t sugar coat anything because you aren’t doing anyone any favors.  For people to be able to work with you if they decide to, they need to know the full extent of your condition, and what to expect.  It’s up to you to provide this information, and then, in the next step, explain the issues you face as a raider.

#2:  Explanations of problems:

In my application, I went on to explain that it was hard for me to raid because I can’t use vent.  I said that I was aware that this does affect the rest of the raid and it is a potential problem.  I acknowledged that I understood what I was asking of them, and outlined potential issues that could arise.  ”It may be a little difficult to call out for an immediate brez, or telling me to do something during an encounter,” I wrote that down in my application form.

You need to outline problems that could potentially arise, so that your raid is aware of what they are dealing with.  This is so that nobody is surprised when a problem happens.  People need to know what sort of problems that can come up, and only you can know what can happen.

#3:  Provide solutions!

After you present the issues at hand, you need to outline solutions you have used to over come these problems.  I provided information on the addons that help me with my raid awareness.  I outlined how I use DBM and DBM spell timers to track incoming raid warnings and cooldowns.  ”DBM helps me know what is coming and this has worked out well for me as a substitute for using call outs in vent.”

I wrote how I can communicate with people by discussing strats beforehand, or using raid warning macros during raids for quick callouts (Ie:  BREZ!).  I anticipated everything that could become a problem due to me being unable to use vent, and provided solutions of how we could deal with it.  When you provide solutions, people feel less inclined to turn you down because they now know there are ways around it.  It’s up to you to show people that!

#4:  Back yourself up!

Furthermore, I also had a reputation around my old server.  Even though not many people knew I was Deaf, I still had a good reputation of being a friendly and good raider.  I asked people who knew me and had raided with me before to be my references for my application.  So that people who were reviewing my application could ask other people what it was like raiding with me.  It’s always a good idea to also provide this information if you have people who like you and who is willing to back you up.

WoL parses are just as important.  If you are honestly a good raider, your WoL parses will reflect that your performance is just as good as anyone else’s.  We all screw up once in a while, disabled or not, but if you do your best, most raids won’t use your disability as a reason to turn you down.  They’ll take you, or instead, tell you other reasons why they can’t take you (gear issues, and whatnot).

It is important you provide back up information.  This is how you can deal with your applications for raid spots regarding your disability.

Don’t get discouraged and keep trying.  If you get turned down, it wouldn’t hurt to ask why, because at the very least, you’ll know what you can do to remedy that.  At least, if it’s a gear issue, or lack of experience, or something like that.  You can certainly fix that and try again later.  But if people tell you outright it’s because of your disability, don’t take it personal.  Take heart if people turn out to be jerks (believe me, I’ve had my fair share..), take it with a grain of salt and move on to the next application form for another raid.  It’s not you, it’s them!

With that being said, I also want to put importance on chemistry that you share with the people you raid with.  It is just as important that people are willing to work with you, and accept you for who you are.  I can’t very well raid with people who won’t take the time to communicate with me in discussing strats beforehand or people who act like jerks toward me.  I know players who have Multiple Sclerosis, who cannot play for a few hours in a row because they get exhausted or they suffer from muscle spasms, things like that.  They raid with groups who take frequent breaks to accommodate their needs, and it works out very well for everyone.   There are visually impaired people who have difficulties seeing things clearly in raids, and they get around it by depending on more call outs from their raid mates.  There are tons of ways to accommodate different disabilities in WoW when people keep their minds and hearts open.

I’ve been lucky to have found an incredible group of people who can see past my deafness and  recognize me for my skills as a raider.  Keep trying and you will find that group that clicks with you, the rest will fall in place with a little effort from everyone.  Remember that you are not alone, and that there are people out there that struggle with the same thing as you do.  Be proud and know that you can do it too!

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  • Platypus

    I’m a disabled Marine. I have bad knees that have progressed to a bad back, and so I can only be in an environment like a dungeon or raid for a couple hours, at most, before I’d need to lay down. Cataclysm pretty much destroyed my raiding ability. Even normal dungeons took too much out of me when Cata first came out, and I’ve been reluctant to try a dungeon since, even with people seriously outgearing the content now, because of it.

    I raided in ICC with a casual guild, and even then I could only do it one night a week, when their raids were 3 nights a week most weeks. I had a lot of trouble with being able to raid at all, because my back is to the point that I either can raid that night, or I can’t, and I won’t know until that day. I had to always sign up as tentative for raids. It was really frustrating when the nights I was capable of raiding, we didn’t get enough sign ups and the raid was called. I was also at least in the top 3 for DPS (ret paladin) every night, and almost everyone in the group had better gear than me.

    Now I’m in a guild that raids more regularly and even has extra people for raids most nights, but I still have the problem of being afraid to even do a Cata dungeon, let alone raiding. and so I can’t get myself geared for it, anyway.

    • http://misspewpew.com/members/misspewpew/ Aidrana

      I’m sorry you have to go through that! There are a lot of people who suffer with chronic pain, and it’s exhausting to play for a long time without taking breaks. Guild run dungeons are great because you don’t have to worry about having to deal with pugs freaking out on you when you need to take a break. You can take as many breaks you need when you do dungeons, or get the loot you need, but I can see how that can be tricky for raiding.

      My raid group does rotations for raiding, and this could be something you can try. Put your hat in for a boss that you want to try raiding, and sit out for the rest of the night. This way, you get to raid a bit without actually having to do the entire night and you could rotate bosses and get your achievement kills in or loot. You could spread it out throughout the raid week, for example, if your guild raids 3x a week, you could end up doing 3 bosses through the week at maybe 1 hour max each boss. Also, have you considered playing laying down?

      I know a lot of people who do- they purchase a table top thing for their bed/couch and put the monitor there so they are able to lie down and play. I’ve done it myself too, so this is something you could also try to alleviate the stress of sitting in a chair. Thanks for your comment!

      • Platypus

        I run WoW on a laptop, so laying down wouldn’t be too difficult. However, I’ve tried playing other games while doing that and I don’t seem to be able to adjust. Also, with my knees being bad, too, I can’t keep the laptop on my knees for as long as I’d need to for dungeons/raids.

      • http://misspewpew.com/members/misspewpew/ Aidrana

        The table tops I had in mind have supporting legs/bars so it doesn’t rest on your legs but above them. This is an example. I’ve used something like this where it rests off my legs, and I would use a external mouse on a pad resting on the bed/couch next to me. It’s worth looking into, I think!

        People should not be resting laptops on their legs anyway, for obvious reasons :P

  • http://inquisitorsroadhouse.com/ Anexxia

    As a former RL, I commend you for being direct and honest about your condition in the raid app. It is frustrating when you are trying to lead a raid and have a player not in voice chat and no idea as to why that is (and how it may end up affecting the raid.) Giving the heads up in advance gives your RL the opportunity to work out macros/signaling for you, thus easily working around it versus being frustrated mid-raid at a raider who isn’t hearing them on Vent. I personally believe that any guild that you are this direct with that subsequently turns you down is probably a good thing– they’re not the environment you’d want to be in long term.

    • http://misspewpew.com/members/misspewpew/ Aidrana

      Hi Anexxia!

      You are absolutely correct. Anyone who turns people down for this reason isn’t who they’d want to raid with anyway. It’s kinda like dating, ha ha. It was just that I got griefed for it, and this subsequently affected me how I approached sharing this information with people.

      It wasn’t a big deal when I was doing pug raids because I usually wasn’t the only one who didn’t have vent. But for hardmode raiding, I felt it definitely needed to be factored in their decision whether they would take me or not. My raid leader expressed concerns when I started raiding with them, and I worked closely with her to address her concerns. She was worried that I would not be able to follow call outs for brezzes or when I have to take over something if a healer died. Those are very common concerns that I deal with in-game, so I provided macros and suggestions to get around this issue, so that *I* wouldn’t affect the rest of the raid. I think it also helped people feel less overwhelmed with having to figure out how to include me. I love my current raid group because not they only do that, some people interpret what’s being said in vent and people generally type more in raid chat so I don’t feel left out. In fact, I’m one of the most chattiest raider in the raid :)

      I also told my RL that if things did not work out in the end, I would understand and move on, happy that I at least got to take a shot at it. It’s important that people work closely with the RL to have their needs met, or else, it’s just not going to work out. So I do know where you’re coming from as a raid leader, since this is something that can affect the rest of the raid. Honesty is usually the best policy in this case, imo, if you want to be a successful raider.

  • http://frostwolves.blogspot.com Navimie

    I have never been to your blog before (got here via someone retweeting it) and I have to say that I am really impressed you had the courage to do what you did, and poo to the people who didn’t understand. To me, I would think it must be amazingly hard without vent, but for you that’s the norm and if you play well without it then that’s really great. I hope you don’t have to apply to too many other guilds and settle down with some people who know you well and think you’re great and you’ll never have to leave again :)

    • http://misspewpew.com/members/misspewpew/ Aidrana

      Well, it’s fairly new- wait, that’s not entirely the truth. I’ve owned the domain for a long time, using it for things like school projects and whatnot. It wasn’t until a couple of months ago that I decided I’d start writing about WoW after lurking around different blog sites for a while. I’ve done everything I can to make it look good and as functional as possible.

      I can see how it can be hard to raid without vent, but people raided without it back in Vanilla! Nowadays, it’s a requirement for raiding for the sake of convenience, and it’s a negative thing if someone doesn’t have access to it. I’m the exception because I have a legitimate reason and I put effort in being the best raider that I can be. I’m not saying it’s easy for me, because it’s not. But the fun I have outweighs my inability to use vent, and my raiders include me when they can (Thank you EtD/Sanctuary!). It’s a funny thing that you mention about “settling down” with a guild/raid. That was actually my case with a guild prior to joining my current raid group/guild- I didn’t think I would ever be good enough to be accepted by more progressed people and stuck around for nearly 2 years. I was not happy because I didn’t feel included in raids, and decisions along with unrelated problems with the RL/GM.

      I ended up looking around and came across another guild on my old server that raided hardmodes in T11 who took me in. Ever since, I’ve been raiding with them and some of them have become very good friends. We have even moved our entire 10 man group from my old server to my new server- that’s how tightknit we are. I actually wish I left sooner, or at least, that I didn’t limit myself thinking I wouldn’t be able to find anything better. So, no, I don’t feel I’ve “settled” down with my current raid group- I’m quite happy now, and other people deserve to have the same thing!

  • http://chroniclesofmia.com Mia

    Beautiful post. Very well written! I have met a few people with some disabilities, but never heard of a deaf person who played WoW. It’s great of you to share your experiences with your readers ^_^

    • http://misspewpew.com/members/misspewpew/ Aidrana

      Thank you! Really? O.o

      I’m sure there are tons of Deaf people who play WoW out there. We’re just quiet, haha. I personally don’t know another deaf player as well, and have only heard about maybe a couple players on my old server who were also deaf. Never had the pleasure of meeting them, though. Makes me wonder just about how many deaf people really do play WoW, and I’m certain it’s a good number.

      • http://www.yahoo.com/ Melissa

        In awe of that anwser! Really cool!

  • http://www.princeofspades.net/runes/ Outbirk

    As a disabled raider, I really didn’t make it everyone’s business that I might not be able to raid some nights. After the first few weeks of raid, I told my raid leader and GM that I might vanish without warning for a few days, and not just because I was a no-show. I don’t really share the details with everyone- the people who know, know, but I’m not going to tell everyone who joins. If I choose to share the details with them, it’s on me.

    It’s still frightening to take that step, but I think it’s like a job- you have to tell your RL or GM what’s up, or they may kick you because they think you’re just being intentionally difficult. I know there’s a risk of getting kicked anyway, but it’s better to have discussed it with them than not. Even if they do kick a disabled player, that might not be the environment you wanted to be in, anyway. Even server-first guilds can spare a little time to get to know people and show a little compassion. I’d rather not be in a guild that was that detached and failed to see that behind every character is an actual person.

    • http://misspewpew.com/members/misspewpew/ Aidrana

      Of course, you don’t have to say anything either. This article is for people who do decide to share this kind of information, and how they can do it. Everyone has that right to make that decision. I wanted to expose this issue because people DO get griefed over it, and it’s not right. It’s one thing to take some time off, and quite another to get kicked because you were judged over your disability.

      Thank you for commenting =)

  • http://endgamefarming.blogspot.com Ahtchu

    I feel that guilds with those sorts of requirements are the fake-me’s. Most of the legit high end guilds don’t need voice comms, because their members are all self-starters.

    At the turn of classic into BC, I happened to have dropped my 4HM conquering guild to strike it out on my own. Forming a ragtag group of merry men along the way, we allowed vent to be used in conjunction with guild activities, but not as a means to coordinate said activities (idle banter and other mindless musings only!). Months pass, and we stumble into SSC/TK (pre-Sol nerf, whenever that was). Somehow, in some way, I’m talking to one of the guys, asking why he never wanted to partake in calming diatribe via comms. Matter of factly, he’s deaf, he responds. I’m shocked, at both my shortsightedness and expectations, but also at his gaming. He’s the only guy in the already solid group that never once needed any hand holding. He never let the team down, and in more than one occasion was a pillar instrumental to success. He had done all this the whole time by coordinating himself via tells with random people. I was floored.

    It’s not you (third person plural), it’s the rest of everyone. What one guild perceives as a requirement for success is just that: a perception. If they prefer to pass up competence with the myopic vision that a certain formula is required, then they aren’t a fit anyway. Competence is required for success, and that will be collected in differing means for different groups. ‘Leaders’ without the understanding of such will be doomed to either failure or dictatorship (which is failure in and of itself).

    In terms of my experience, what deaf gamers lack in hearing, they more than make up in competence, understanding, and being a sense of warmth to an ever-more frigid MMORPG community. Props to you for your ‘disability’, and all the truly wonderful things that accompany it that us ‘normal’ folk can be so very lacking in.

    • http://misspewpew.com/members/misspewpew/ Aidrana

      Hi, Ahtchu:

      Thank you for your thoughful post. I have to disagree with whether most legit high end guilds need voice comms. It’s not a bad thing to have and is obviously an advantage to have for raiding. My article points out in an indirect way that while VOIP is beneficial, people still should be given the option to be able to raid without VOIP if their reasons are genuinely legitmate. I doubt they raid without DBM, which is also essential for raiding. Could you see the high end guilds like Paragon not using VoIP at all in heroic 25 man raids in the race for world firsts?

      People can raid without vent if they really want to. I have for the past 3 years raiding 3x a week minimum. There are ways around it, as I’ve said in my post, and eventually, people bring other things to make up for it like more patience and persistence. It definitely does teach people one thing or two when they try to raid without it when they’re used to it. It serves as a reminder that you are responsible for keeping yourself alive at the end of the day, and the other nine (or 24) people are just there to help you have fun. It’s on you to put that effort in on your end by using VoIP if you can, or use addons designed to help you raid without VOIP, so that the rest of the raid doesn’t have to worry about you and having fun too.

      I couldn’t agree with you anymore- it’s the competency that matters, no matter what method people use to compete in the raiding world. I’m also very dedicated to my raiding team, and it’s so nice hearing another story like yours about your deaf raid-mate. I think you’re very lucky to have him, deaf people like us recognize the value of having a good raiding guild factoring in also the social aspects and how well they fit in their raid groups. We tend to keep them closer to our hearts, and are less likely to bail if we are treated with respect and just like anyone else on the team. We don’t want to be seen as the special raiders, we’re just as normal as you are. I’m so happy that you are enjoying having him in your guild :)

      Thank you for your comment, and Elune bless you :)

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